Shop: Belltone Inn

The name of this inn is derived from the fact that the owner, Milo Thatcher, rings a bell when the bar is closing and it’s time for lights out. The food at the inn is somewhat normal. It is standard fare; the food is straightforward home cooking of soups, common breads and simple meats; the alcohol consists of beer and the occasional wine. The rooms are clean but ordinary sized. Prices for room and board are normal for the market. Altogether this inn is your basic public house, providing comforts for those coming off the road but not much else.

However, the way the inn stands out and attracts almost a full house every night is the inn owner, Milo Thatcher.  He is a robust man given to hearty laughter and an easy way about him. He can entertain a full inn with his wild stories. When not engaging the entire common room, he will make a tour of the inn, visiting each table and telling a quick joke to the occupants. He generates a feeling that the Belltone Inn is a home away from home and people enjoy going to his establishment.

Milo Thatcher

Milo is older, 58, but still very mobile. He is a bear of a man; tall and stout, but not given to an overabundance of fat. He seems to have a large well of energy as he moves about his inn. In reality, he is starting to feel his age, but he puts all his energy into his work and it sustains him. When he is not working his body crashes and he spends most of that time resting. Milo was once married to a woman named Edia, but she died many years ago. Some have said that since her death he has married the inn.

Inn Staff

Ned – He was a street orphan and started working for Milo at the age of 8. He is now 24 and is happy and content to still be working here. He does all the heavy lifting that needs to get done since Milo can’t lift as much as he used to.

Winter – While there is no formal hierarchy among the staff, Winter is the de facto leader of the staff. The others listen to her guidance and she takes care of the little things that need to get done so Milo does not have to worry them.

Madge – She is a young, married a year ago and has a newborn. She is running a bit ragged trying to care for the infant and maintain her work at the inn. She really doesn’t need the job at this point, but she doesn’t want to leave Milo in a lurch.

Stella – While the other girls are all pretty in their own way, Stella is a genuine beauty. She has had multiple offers to work in more upscale places, places that would put her near nobility and give her more pay, but she prefers to stay here. Milo needs the help too much.

Adventure Ideas

- Jens Morrow contacts the player character for a job. Jens is known as a middle man for jobs of the unsavory kind, theft and killings being the norm. He wants the player characters to steal the bell Milo Thatcher uses. Jens has been hired by The Red Magician, a liche with a fondness for magical bells and he suspects Milo's bell is magic.
- The staff of the Belltone have taken up a collection and wish to hire the adventurers to find the traveling merchant, Warrant. The last time Warrant was in town the staff approached him about buying a potion of longevity for Milo, but they could not meet the price of 200 gp at the time. They have managed to save and scrimp and have the gold required but Warrant has moved on. They wish to hire the adventurers to find Warrant and buy the potion before he sells it to someone else.  Of course a potion of longevity is worth far more than 200gp and Warrant was running a scam on the staff.

List of Jokes

1)      A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Get me a pint of beer…and a mop and bucket”.

2)      What came first the cockatrice or the egg? The cock-atrice came first.

3)      An elf and a human walk into a bar. The gnome walks under it.

4)      An ugly man walks into the cleric's office and says: "Father, I hurt all over."
And the cleric says, "That's impossible.”
"No really!" he said, "Just look, when I touch my arm, ouch! it hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts. When I touch my head, ouch! it hurts. When I touch my chest, ouch!!, it really hurts", he replies.
The cleric just shakes his head and says, "You're a half-orc, aren't you?"
The man smiles and says "Yeah. But how do you know?"
The cleric replies, "Because, your finger is broken."

5)      Why should human men marry elven women? Because with any luck, he'll be dead before she turns into her mother.

6)      A werebear walks into a bar and says "I want a pint of beer.............and some nuts." The barkeep says "Why the big paws?"

7)      You hear about the vegetarian ogre?  He only eats wood elves.

8)      A halfling walks into an orc bar and orders a beer. The bartender shakes his heads and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

9)      Where do you find a no-legged orc? Right where you left him.

10)   What did the mermaid say when she swam into the wall? Dam.